Dear Macy’s

Those store guides of yours. You know, the ones by the elevators. Well, perhaps this hadn’t occurred to you, but they’re actually metaphors. They don’t just tell clueless shoppers what’s on which floor. No, they also metaphorically represent the topology of the store. Cool, huh? So when your store guides show the first floor above the second floor, and the second floor above the third floor, but you then carelessly put the actual first floor below the actual second floor, and the actual second floor below the actual third floor, what you’re doing is messing with my head. Yes, yes, I get that they’re just signs, but, well, nothing’s just a sign.

Would it be too much trouble to ask that you move the first floor to above the second floor, and the second floor to above the third floor, and so on, so that you unbreak the metaphor? Too much to ask?

Okay, then maybe you could just fix your boneheaded signs instead. Thanks in advance!