Dogpiles and Giants

I read a piece a while ago, but can’t remember where (hey, I’m super-informative, aren’t I?), which bemoaned the fact that most web-browser users actually use them in ways that the designers scarcely intended, and also make use of very very few of the features that would help them to get results that are useful and targeted.

One example of bizarre behaviour is that most browser-users apparently fail to distinguish between the address box at top of the browser window, into which URLs can be typed directly, and the search box of their favourite search-engine. The result of this is that, since search is what people do all the time — it’s what they know — it’s common for them to type a URL, even if they know what it is, into the search-engine’s search box, and then find the link to the site they want from the search results, rather than to feed the URL to the browser directly. It’s one of those <hits head> moments that drive programmers slightly nuts. No matter how much care and attention you might lavish on interface design, the user knows best, and won’t be gainsaid.

An example of inefficient search behaviour is that users typically make use of none of the more-advanced search-syntax features that most engines provide. None of the boolean operators, nor the ability to search for pages without specific words, for example. Most users scarcely even use quotation marks to identify the search term as a phrase, rather than just an unordered collection of words.

Both of these examples, and others too, are shown very clearly in a whizzo new feature of meta-search-engine Dogpile. It lets you see — in what it claims is ‘real-time’ — searches that other people have submitted. URLs submitted as search terms seem to account for perhaps one in ten searches, and quotation marks to define phrases are few and far between.

I have my doubts about the unfiltered nature of the ‘unfiltered’ searches. Conventional wisdom has it that ‘sex’ is the most common search term, and I’ve yet to see that once. Searches for ‘food’ seem to arise with startling regularity, however. (‘Whaddya want? Bagels? Noodles? Sushi? Be more specific, can’t ya? I’m trying to be relevant here!’) There are certainly plenty of icky searches. A favourite is ‘mouth watering twat’ — I’m amused by it, you understand, not in search of it. But not so many as you might think.

Many of the search terms, in fact, have bizarre juxtaposition that reminds me of nothing so much as They Might Be Giants (a favourite tipple of mine) song titles. And so, with a great big TAN-TA-RA!, I proudly announce the very first North Gare quiz, courtesy of Dogpile and TMBG. Mixed in amongst the following are ten They Might Be Giants song titles, and ten actual, real search-terms courtesy of Dogpile. Your mission is of course to decide which is which. TMBG fans are excused. No fair if you already know their stuff.

Okay, here we go:

1. nudist grand junction
2. turtle tattoo
3. college as a waste of time
4. the big big whoredom
5. chess piece face
6. how great thou art techno
7. neon sign in madison
8. hypnotist of ladies
9. why does the sun shine?
10. miss nude usa
11. s-e-x-x-y
12. low hanging balls
13. shoehorn with teeth
14. playground pokemon
15. wooden gun rack
16. purple toupee
17. dark & metric
18. xtc vs. adam ant
19. build pirate ship
20. hemlock meadows camping

Highlight the invisible text below for the answers:

TMBG are responsible for 4, 5, 8, 9, 11, 13, 14, 16, 17, 18. Dogpile must take the rest.

Score 5 and under, and you are Your Own Worst Enemy. Score 6 to 10, and you are, at least, a Mammal. Score 11 to 15 and your Bangs probably are that on which the world hangs. Score 16 to 20, and there is almost certainly a Birdhouse in Your Soul.